Overcoming Fear

Darling Days

Jul 6

darling wordsdarling words

You know what they say: fear is a liar.

I say they’re right. When I took my blog full time, I had graduated from UT, accepted my first real job, and was financially on my own — and barely making a dime off the little old The Darling Detail. So, this was just the perfect little scenario for fear to enter the picture, wasn’t it? So … enter, fear. Fear told me that quitting my 9-5 *dream* job at age 22 was an absolutely crazy idea that would only lead to failure, public humiliation, a waste of time and hard work, and self-annihilation. And it would simply just shove me right back to where I started (except jobless). Sound familiar? Felt this way before? I betchayouhave. If you’re reading this now – I can assure you that this post, on this blog, on this day is proof that fear is a liar. Because quitting my job and pursuing my dreams led to none of those negative things – and led instead to a million more unimaginable and beautiful things. Yes, along the way, there were a whole lotta bumps in the road — but that’s just part of the journey; those bumps were put there to grow me, change me, and bump me out of that little box called my comfort zone.

I can parallel my fearful quitting-my-job situation to a plethora of situations (and each and every one I can personally relate to): breaking off a relationship that is not meant to be, setting boundaries with toxic friends who only bring in the negative, starting a business, pursuing your dreams, telling someone special how you actually feel, opening your heart, going after that dream job, working for that promotion, trying out for that team, the list goes on forever … and ever.

Sadly, we often live in a prison cell of “what ifs” which often build the foundation of worry. The worry of what others may think, the “what if” of failure, the fear of not being good enough, on and on and on. And unfortunately, it’s incredibly hard to step out of the cell — once you’re in it.

In each and every one of the situations I’ve listed above, I have found that with God by your side, there is no room for fear (1 John 4:18). Yes, I have faced rejection, and the battle of the what-if’s, and plenty of “no’s” and a whole lot of closed doors – but each time, I found myself changing into a new and better person. Realizing in hindsight that – the worst “they” can say is “no,” and with God by your side — He will use all of those worst-case scenarios for good (Romans 8:28) including every single one of those no’s.

Today I encourage you to walk against fear – and remember that whatever fear is holding you back from … is absolutely worth the fight. Leaps of faith are the antithesis of fear. It’s exactly what fear wants you not to do (doesn’t that just make you want to do them… now?!). I like this quote by Rachel Huber: “Fear is the brain’s way of saying that there is something important for you to overcome.”

What is it that your heart/spirit/gut feeling is telling you to overcome? Think deeply, darling. XOXO

image sources: coffee photo via @songofstyle Instagram /  1 / 2 / 3 / 4 – all via pinterest

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  1. Michelle Joseph

    I recently took a risk and quit my full-time job in the search for a new career. I am unemployed at the moment and it’s God’s promises that strengthen me to keep going. I’ve had many no’s and rejections from all the jobs I’ve applied for but I will keep trying and never give up. I restarted my blog (very amateur) because I have so much free time on my hands, but I will see everything as an opportunity and blessing.
    Great positive post.

    Mich x

    1. Congratulations on taking a (very scary) leap of faith, pushing forward, and starting a creative outlet! Even though you are not yet at the final destination yet, you’ve already accomplished so much – which means so much in itself 🙂 God is with you! I wish you the best with all your endeavors! :* xoxoxo

  2. Courtney

    I love this so much! Fear really does try and hold us back, but you are 100% right – stepping out in faith is totally worth it and don’t we know it! 😉

    Proud of you and of this, xx


  3. KAT

    Thank you, Jessi! I love this post and how you encourage other women to be the best they can be! So uplifting! I have found in my life that sometimes I am afraid of actually succeeding — and what that might mean. Fear acts like a friend to keep you in your comfort zone, but it’s really a liar like you said. Thank you for bringing these issues that women face to light, and helping us face our fears, look to God (He wants our hearts, right?), build our confidence, dress for success (thank you, The Darling Detail!), and take that very scary next step! Love your new series!

    XO – Kat

  4. What a beautiful post! I can certainly relate to suffering from the what-ifs. Last year, I quit my stable job to pursue blogging and writing. It has been the hardest endeavor with lots of ups and downs, but I’m still glad I took a chance and followed my passion. Everything may not have gone as planned, but the experience taught me to trust myself — enough to follow my dream and land on my feet.


    1. SO true, Vanessa. I know – that’s another tough lesson to learn: nothing turns out as planned but we’re also better people after! Congrats on taking the first step! XOXO

  5. Lynn

    Great post!! Needed to read this this morning, thanks!

  6. Tamara

    Very well written! I was more shy then fearful when I was younger, (yet again shyness is a form of fear I guess) but I learned slowly to get out of my comfort zone and do things that would make me a little uncomfortable. Slowly, I became way less shy and I’m more adventurous now.

    1. Such a good point – shyness is a form of fear! Love that you pointed that out… getting out of the comfort zone is a fear in itself! So glad to hear you’ve bloomed! XOXO

  7. Maya

    I love this quote! This js so encrouaging and inspiring

    1. Maya

      I meant to say post!

  8. Maya

    I love this post! This was so encouraging and inspiring!

  9. Morgan bruton

    This is SO GOOD! Love it!!

  10. Caitlin

    Thank you so much for sharing Jessi! I love this post and how you encourage us to stand against fear and follow our dreams! So encouraging and motivating!!

    xo Caitlin

  11. Hayden

    So proud of you Jessi!! Especially for using your success to glorify Him, you truly are darling ????❤️ Miss you!

    1. Hayden!! I miss you and YAY I’m so glad you’re reading! Love you and hope everything is great with you!

  12. Tess Felber

    I love this post! Might be one of my favorite of yours so far and thank you for opening up. I’ve been before as well with letting go of toxic friendships and relationships that are toxic- live is just too short. Keep up the inspirational posts, girl! Amazing.

    xox |Tess
    Sequins are the New Black

    1. Aw I’m so glad it’s one of your faves! Toxic friendships are tough — I’ll definitely be touching on that more again! Thanks for your feedback! XOXO Jessi

  13. Katrina

    Encouraging words great host ❤️????????????????

  14. CuteBrandiK

    Great post! Very inspiring! Looking back, I could’ve done a lot of other things with my life if I weren’t scared. I was scared when I started blogging a year ago, but I overcame it. I haven’t gotten very far with it yet and if I do I am sure I may still be scared. But you are absolutely right, fear hold us back and I am going to try my best to not let that happen from now on. Thanks for sharing!
    -Brandi Kimberly

  15. Katrina

    This was such a beautifully written post and could not be more appropriate in terms of timing. This is my last week at my full-time job that I’ve had since graduating college as I leave to travel and pursue my blogging career full-time. Total blessings from above as your post couldn’t relate any better! I’m anxious for the unknown but the excitement of what’s to come trumps the nerves. Thanks for the inspirational words and sharing your story! PS I’m LA-based, so let me know if you need any more good recos while you’re in town 🙂

    XO Katrina

    1. Hi Katrina!

      Aw congratulations on taking the big step! Yes those anxious thoughts will allow follow leaps of faith, but that is just so excited you simply took the step! And, AH I’m in love with your city ! (want to secretly move here) I’ll most definitely be back! XOXO – Jessi

  16. Nicole

    Read this post before, and read it again today when I really needed it! It’s so great to feel comfort in other people’s experiences where you can relate. Thanks for the post and what you do! Keep it up!! #inspiration #girlboss

    -Nicole Clemons | @imaginarycarrie Austin,Tx

  17. Alisha

    Hi! I’ve been following your instagram for quite some time, and just decided to start looking towards your blog for inspiration for my own blog! I haven’t even made it public yet because of well… fear!

    this post is so inspirational and motivating. I know I can just bite the bullet and go for it. I already love my posts and I haven’t even shared them yet! Thank you for sharing <3 <3 Oh, I am an Austinite, too! Hi!

    1. Aw, I am SO happy it resonated with you! So so good to hear!

      I am so so happy to hear it also inspired you! And yay for us austinites!

      Thank you for commenting!! XOX

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